Death
by starooo
Summary: When all that's important vanishes from your hands; a question starts rummaging in your head: What are you going to give up on? Mikan Sakura crossed the boundaries; her heart torn apart in agony and her life was what she was willing to surrender.


**Death**

Dedicated to:

Karla Gaviola: _just to make her feel guilty for letting my Heartbreaker CD rot in her room and for not visiting her bestfriend since... forever._

_--_

It was late in the evening, as I sat on the bench outside the dorm of the old forgotten Alice academy, cursing myself for how I got this nasty headache. I felt like crying, because everything I have gone to love is now gone and broken, along with everything they have promised and the memories they left. I buried my face on my knees, with my messy hair covering my thighs. How could I have gone to lose them?

It was a war – a very dreadful Alice war – which took away the lives of all my friends. I wonder why I survived it. Why did I even live without them? Suicide is too perfect for me; though I would not dare do it, I still have my grandfather, and Youichi.

Of course, although he was not able to take the deaths so easily, for that whole month he locked himself in the room, behind that closed door. It was one week ago he was able to get over them, wandering in the outside world. It was very lucky he was out of the country when the war started, although coming back to a deserted academy; his heart was torn with grief.

Feeling miserable, I dragged my feet forcefully to the dorm's gate, wandering past the old Takahashi. It looked so broken and full of dust. I miss that darn robot after all this years. Still continuing the trail, I stopped as I saw a weird looking door, different from the other doors I passed through. I wiped of the dust of the gold plaque, showing who the room owner was. And there, engraved on the plaque was –

'_Natsume Hyuuga, Special Star; Elementary Student'. _

No wonder it was his, for he was the best of the best, getting the special treatment he deserves. But to me, he was nothing more that a lover and a friend, a normal person with high ambitions. My heart was struck with all the memories of my former sweetheart, with promises that will last like a lifetime but ended on the death's door.

_Oh, Natsume…_

My knees were trembling, as all of those terrible nightmares that the academy has gone through….

I looked at it and before I knew it—

—I collapsed.

Everything had gone bright, and for the last time in years… There it was, the familiarity of it arouses my soul. It was his perfectly shaped collar bones, his lean shoulders and his arrogant smirk. But what made me fall for one more time…

…It was his crimson red eyes.

"_Natsume! Don't leave me…" Mikan shouted, holding his arm. It was her selfish wish, but she cared less. Tears dropped from her hazel eyes. "…Don't die yet."_

"_I won't." His voice was shaky and uncertain. He shook her off, grabbed her arm and pulled her into an embrace. It was tight, passionate… and it felt sorrowful. Mikan knew what he was trying to say._

"_No!"_

No…

His eyes held their future, his grief, her loss. It was his momentum in her heart. His eyes, it turned cold when he felt denied. It turned warm when she was out of place.

It was the eyes that never left Mikan's mind.

_Natsume's hand went on her wet cheek. "Mikan… Mi… kan…. Mi—"_

_His hand dropped. She froze. _

"_No… N-no…. NO!" She shook his body with full force. "Wake up, Natsume! Open your eyes! Natsume… don't leave me… I told you not to! Natsume… Natsume! Liar! Liar... liar..." Her voice cracked, tears fell and her whole body went numb as the bated breath that was lingering on her skin for the last two minutes stopped. _

_Natsume Hyuuga was gone._

For the first time in so many years, I have seen those eyes again. Waiting for me, calling me to safe harbour.

_Natsume…._

"Natsume…" I whispered, reaching out to the body in front of me. He held my hand, and when his lips touched mine.

I already knew what had happened.

I had crossed boundaries.

I was dead, but it didn't matter anymore.

Being dead won't matter anymore. I fulfilled what I wanted to do, and to be in my happy place is to be with Natsume.

Death was the only way out.

--

**Author's Notes:**

I have no idea whether it was supposed to leave you sad, surprised of terrified. I just found this story, which was probably waiting for me to publish this since last school year, three days ago and I don't recall myself writing this not until I noticed the word _safe harbour. _It was a book title from Danielle Steel and since then safe harbour was one of my favorite words. Anyways, please leave a review (constructive criticism welcome).


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